...The Lack of Male Confidants?

I’ve been wondering for a very long time now about the reason why I find girls to be much better confidants than guys. I know for a fact that it’s just not me, but many of my guy friends have told me that it’s easier to open up to someone of the opposite sex. It’s strange when you’d think that someone who is more similar to you would understand you better. But is it a matter of understanding you better or is it a matter of feeling comfortable about being transparent?

I remember the time when I was in high school. If you had this crush on a girl you’d be the dumbest dinosaur to walk the earth if you told one of your classmates. Not only would the word spread like wildfire, you’d be teased mercilessly. I feel that guys at that age aren’t very good at helping you out when it comes to relationships. Most of them are content at pointing fingers and poking fun at you.

Girls on the other hand are more supportive. The way girls double team to help one of their girlfriends out is simply amazing. You’re minding your own business and one day an admirer calls. “How did you get my number?” you ask. “A friend.” Next thing you know, she goes to the same tuition center as you do, knows your birth date, digs your favorite color, etc. She gets all this information when you have never uttered a word to her before. Ask a guy for help with a girl, he’ll probably laugh at you in the face and probably set you up to make you look foolish in front of your other friends.

Fortunately things have changed since I left high school. People are more mature about relationships as it’s a very real and relevant issue right now. In high school, getting into a relationship was like heading into alien territory. Not that many people were into relationships and it probably wasn’t taken as seriously as it should have been. Nowadays, people don’t tease as much as they did in high school and guys are generally more supportive, which is a big relief.

Back to the issue about females being better confidants, the only explanation I can find is that girls generally are more in touch with their emotions. They probably know better when it comes to issues involving the heart. That could be the reason why we guys find it more reassuring to talk to a female when we’re faced with emotional problems.

Don’t get me wrong, but guys can be great counsel too. But I find that there’s this mentality going around that if you open up to a guy, or you become really close to this one guy and share your thoughts and all, you two are going to be pretty gay in the eyes of society. There’s this male inhibition that we shouldn’t show our softer side in front of our male counterparts. It’s a sign of weakness. Yes, it’s a male ego thing, like never stopping to ask for directions. It’s not a myth.

So is there anything wrong with seeking the counsel of someone from the opposite sex? Of course not. But check your motives. If it’s all a ploy just to make yourself seem like the shy, sensitive, emotional guy that girls swoon over, then you can bury yourself in six feet of ashes. I’ve seen many of such cases and it just irritates the crap out of me.

Disclaimer: Everything discussed here is based on men and women in general. I am fully aware that there are exceptions to whatever I’ve mentioned above. I am also not trying to single out anyone in particular. Remember that everything stated here is in general terms.