...Holding the Door?

I think it is part of American culture to hold the door for someone, particularly a stranger, that’s walking behind you. It’s not just swinging the door wider than usual, delaying the door from being completely shut after you pass. I’m talking about actually stopping and actually holding the door for someone approaching for maybe less than a second minimum.

I actually did that for someone at work about two weeks ago. He thanked me and then proceeded to introduce himself and we started up a conversation on the way to my department office. I found out that he was a graduate from Purdue University. It just made me wonder if he had an inkling that I was studying abroad because of my kind gesture earlier. I don’t usually experience people striking up a conversation with me out of the blue.

Americans hate it when they hold the door for someone and the benefactor of the gesture doesn’t show any verbal form of appreciation. Maybe it happens so often that people tend to take it for granted. I don’t know. But it’s happened to me several times here in Malaysia and I understand their displeasure.

Another thing that I’ve wondered about is how far away should you be from the approaching person if you decide to hold the door for him/her? I ask this question not because I’m concerned about how many precious seconds I’ll waste waiting, but I’m considering the potential recipient of the gesture.

This thought stems from the realization that something that’s intended to be good could actually turn out to be an inconvenience for the other person. Lets say you hold the door for someone approaching from 5 meters out. The person feels bad and has to quicken his/her pace so that you won’t have to wait so long. Now what if that person wanted to take a leisurely walk? You’ve just made someone hurry up. So on the flipside of things, was your kind gesture really a good thing?

Now lets view this concept from a gender specific perspective. Apparently there’s a bunch of women out there who consider men opening doors for them as a sexist act. To that strange group of women, it’s an act of “male superiority” and sends out signals which read “Women need men for assistance”. So when a man holds the door for a woman purely out of being a gentleman, these women get offended. What a shame.

So yes, a simple idea such as holding the door for someone can actually spark a pretty interesting discussion don’t you think?